Who wouldn't want this job?!

On any typical day at work:
-I get spit on in the face by kids trying to make the correct sounds for me.
-I get scratched and semi-attacked by my Life Skills kids.
-I have to react to "watch out" cries with immediate arm in defensive mode and duck head for fear of the child headed towards me.
-I may or may not have heat in my room. On hot days I get suffocated out of my room by having Southern exposure to a lush blacktop basketball court.
-I sometimes get lunch. Five to six minutes is a long break and plenty of time to wolf it all down.
-I kill 2 trees in printing and copying materials for my students and the legal mandatory paperwork for each one.
-I get paid each year approximately what my parents paid for each year of college.

On extra special days (such as today).... I hear the custodian running down the hall yelling "LOCK DOWN!" and I go out into the potentially dangerous hall to lock my door. My assistant closes the curtains. I turn off the lights and hold a paper to the interior door window while she gets a bigger sheet of paper and tape to cover over the window. We wait silently for who knows what while visions of Columbine rush through my head. Fortuntely, we had no students in the room at the time. Unfortunetly, Wink and the kids were having lunch with me so both kids were stuck in lockdown!! We got the clear to leave the room about 15 minutes later but were told not to leave the building. Wink and the kids were able to leave about 15 minutes after that. We still don't know what was going on except that the police were pursuing 2 men on foot in the area and we have to react as if they were headed into the school.

On other days (such as yesterday) I spend 15 minutes physically restraining a student who is thrashing, biting, kicking, and yelling profanities.

We had another extra special day when Wink and Cal were visiting last winter. A Life Skills student pulled the fire alarm and the whole building had to be evacuated. It was 40 degrees at best and pouring rain. We stood in the rain for what felt like an eternity. Then we were able to move to the covered outdoor area (less wet, equally cold). Finally, we were allowed back inside. Cal was scared of my school for months after that episode. He was convinced that the fire alarm (which is terrifying) would go off whenever he visited (side note--he's also terrified of the fire alarms we have at school and will usually not go into rooms without us for fear of the "beep beeps").


With all this fun and excitement, I don't understand why they have ANY job openings! Who wouldn't want this job?!